(This is my first (non-remix) poem in…. maybe six years?… I originally sat down to jot some thoughts about the experimental record I was listening to tonight (“Business Major” by Body Image Calendar, a side-project of Peter Kris from German Army). My initial intent was to write a brief review-blurb, but it very quickly turned into a poem. Listening to the record should help provide some context, but the album is itself a sort of poem.)
The fizz of the body image calendar’s
fluent business plan
reads like an essay on
how the rising postmaloneyial generation
bottoms the spam,
swallowin that baloney and
not seeing the irony
that they’re just like the trumpthumper kellybots,
art-wrecking separatists
in retrograde
in an entirely different, negligent kind of way.
… self-improvement is eminently positive;
but what if you were being brand-rubed?
Consider the minds of the naive
entrepreneurial youth —
these shiny and dominant confidence men,
ad-busty moonwomen who
wear makeup to look like they aren’t drenched in it —
here we see them as holograms,
synergy networks leaking
their glinty aquarium water
once PK punctures the
thin canna ecoplastic’s
hipster veneer.
They make it seem like it’s easy
fleecing me,
as they casually flick their hair and whisper
social meaty care packages
confessed into their streamfollowers’
expectantly beckoning speaker ears.
She always seems to sneak a fourteen-second appreciation in,
cooing her earnest delusions to her lonelyfans.
Their (or nonbinary her,
to be bandwagonesque)
bizzy dom primary
is out buzzing his won-tons,
perfecting his one-ton pumpscape routines
at any steamroom for which he can find coupons,
his fire-emblazoned neckveins
bulging grotesquely,
seething with wifi
after his bro-spotting power hour.
She slips out to get herself a merit treat,
to film more ad-influenza content
candidly in line
at a posh blondwood nattylight-lit
turmericmilk cafe.
Factlessly science-spouting
pectoral-building pescatarian snakeoil,
peddling local moscato narratives
pedagogically —
gag on my declarative senselessness, you hot simulacrum!
This promise voice talks to you
directly, endearingly,
back-liking the flat front-side
(supposedly)
that you selfie-click out
(self-lovingly)
to the bot-dotted throngs of microserfs und mensch-maschines,
softpowering the kling klang corpos
with de-anonymized sentiment mining.
The desolate spring has already sprung —
its sultry reverb boinging,
stuck looplocked in time’s monetized zigzag,
millions and millions of ticktocks
acheing for your attention cavernously,
time culminating in an eon of blownup
storyboard bubbleteas,
frothed with loyalty
to pizzaparlor natal charts —
I’m here to tell you:
this is an amazing putsch,
a slow pour-over of zeitgeist energy.
Roaming, learning, talking to anyone who will talk to you,
yearning forlornly,
forsaking the broken clank of your
ramshackle bike crankshaft, these
derangedly thwumpy manipulated loops
liquefy my stalled miel
(… oooh, copy and longpress
this perfect cappuccino foam
to use in some twattery,
my foppish A.F. potpoem …)
These dimethyl trippy memes
sampling various self-help
guru-wannabe lovers
exercising
(which you should do every day)
in tight lulu looneypants —
these are the sounds of stretchmark denial and malding,
bot diction, broke as flock
ducks squawking
into discordant microphones.
* * *